I’ve always hated rollercoasters. That feeling of your stomach dropping from your throat to your feet just wasn’t for me. I assumed, as long as I stayed off them – I wouldn’t have to endure that awful traumatic feeling that left me crying for hours when I was about 8 years old. Little did I know – that feeling finds you even when you have both feet on the ground.
The past year has been one for the books. Life altering if you want to be utterly dramatic. Just 365 days ago, I thought my world was turned upside down and then thrown around for full effect. I saw no light at the end of my tunnel.
Looking back now, I was EMBARRASSINGLY hopeless. I was inconsolable. No matter what people said or did, I couldn’t snap out of the DESPAIR I blamed others for putting me into.
But here I am. 365 days later. I made it. I’m still standing & I have never felt more fearless in my life.
I never believed in New Years resolutions. Making the decision on New Years Eve every year to volunteer more, lose those extra 10 pounds, or ask for that raise I totally deserve. It’s all just plans that you make because you feel like you have to jump onto the bandwagon that everyone else is so drunkly already on. But by March you’ve realistically already forgotten about them and are already on your second Taco of the day.
I feel like if you really do want to change, you need to make the decision to change when you are ready for it. When you feel like you’ve had enough and know that you need to get yourself on a new path for the sake of your own sanity. These aren’t small changes either. We aren’t planning to do more Yoga (which you totally should do because it really does wonders), or lose those pounds (mmm Tacos). But instead I am suggesting that you set some life INTENTIONS. Some life altering decisions that you need to act upon from day one and not the Monday of next week because today is Thursday and its odd doing things half way through the week.
Let’s use the clean slate of today to make the decision to change. Let today be your motivation to leave the past in the past and give yourself the future that you deserve to have.
Here are my 10 Life Changing Decisions I made for 2019 (& beyond)
Make the decision to end the emotional hoarding you are still clearly holding onto.
We are all guilty of this and it sucks. We hold onto our pain as a way to remind ourselves of the traumas we have been through. We believe that if we continue to suffer through the past – we will be more prepared for what is undeniably going to hit us in the future. It is a horrible way to live and we need to make the conscious decision to stop in order to truly live in the present.
We are constantly self-sabotaging our lives, our plans, and our beliefs because of the fear our future holds over us. The unknown. Without taking action, our thought process alone puts out a scared, negative vibe into the universe and in return we get back the same negativity set into our careers, our families, our friendships, and our own thinking. We are throwing ourselves into a repetitive negative cycle that we later can’t hide from.
You need to finally say goodbye to the continuous crap thought process you are trapped inside of, the pain & the toxicity and free yourself to positivity. You have this wonderful life that you should be living and you need to learn to allow yourself to enjoy it. Stop planning for the worst based on the emotional traumas of your past, and start enjoying what you have at this moment – right now. If you want to be an emotional hoarder than hoard the motivation, and the self love; not the doubt and despair.
Make the decision to always wear your crown high.
A lot of the time it is hard to label yourself as “the best”. Sometimes it’s even a little narcissistic to do so. But it is necessary. I’m not saying walk around singing “Na Na I’m Better than you are!”, but you need to feel your worth inside.
Nobody will ever be as big of a number one fan to your life as you will be. Even when you are at your lowest, deep down we all know our worth, and when we don’t we need to work on finding it. Cheer yourself on. Know that you are the best you can be in this moment, and can only grow from there. Be the best that you are today, and better than you were yesterday.
You will never find yourself regretting being your own cheerleader. When your faith in yourself falters you can always fix that. But when you rely on others to give you reassurance on your worth – you will always rely on them to make you feel better when they knock you down.
Make the decision to not react.
One of the worst powers we give to people over ourselves is to react to their drama. When they are able to rile us up and get some sort of negative reaction they automatically win, because we cared enough to act. By being Non-Reactive we take the power away from the people around us and give it to ourselves. We choose what dramas we want to take part in and what dramas we simply do not care enough to give a second thought to.
By taking away peoples ability to trigger us by not reacting to them, they stop having control over our lives long enough for us to take the drivers seat back. We all have enough of our own crazy to deal with to take responsibility over anyone else.
Make the decision to stop giving so many F*cks where they are just not needed.
A few months ago I had the pleasure of reading “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck”, and though the concept was so simple, it made me go – wow, well that’s obvious so why am I not doing it?
We put so much of ourselves into every detail of our lives that it just starts taking over. We care too deeply over matters that probably won’t even effect us by tomorrow, let alone next week, month or year. We as a society are so used to getting so rilled up about every little thing that we are making ourselves miserable. For example, my internet was working slow today… Honestly not a huge deal. Except I almost threw my laptop at the wall because of it. I took out my anger on one object just because something else was not working.
This is something we unfortunately do everyday. We take out our internal anger on all outlets of our lives because we feel like its normal. Burnt your mouth this morning? Yell at your poor puppy for looking at you the wrong way. Lost that account you really wanted to your coworker? Storm around like an angered child for the rest of the day.
We give to many F*cks where they are just not needed. Stop taking material and superficial objects and circumstances so seriously. Decide for yourself what truly matters in your life and only focus your energy there. If it doesn’t fall in the list, stop letting it effect your life.
Make the decision to FORGIVE & Remember (yourself & Others).
One of the hardest decisions I had to make was to learn how to truly forgive. Forgive the people who I blamed for hurting me and most importantly forgive myself for falling as low as I let myself get. When I decided it was time to make some changes, I made the decision to leave the past in the past and focus all my attention on the present, and with that what I wanted my future to look life.
I in no way had forgotten what had gone on in my past, and would probably not go back to the people I knew, or the jobs I had. But I had forgiven the circumstances that I was in because they made me into who I am now and who I want to be. As Oprah said, “Forgiveness means letting go. You’re letting go of the hope that what has transpired could have been any different. It’s letting go of the past that you thought you wanted.”
Because I was able to forgive, yet not forget – I am able to learn from my past and act today towards my future.
Make the decision to Just Be Yourself.
It’s incredibly hard to be yourself in a world that showcases the glamorous life of being just like everyone else. With the powers of social media – we are taught that we need to look a certain way, eat a certain way, shop a certain way, and simply just be different. We tend to lose ourselves in the process.
Many of us also fall into the tendency to become doormates to others. We let the people around us walk all over us because we want to please everyone. We work so hard to make others lives happier and easier that we forget what makes us happy.
It is so important to take some time to yourself to figure out who you are without society whispering in your ear – without working harder to be who others want you to be versus who you want yourself to be. Be proud of who you are. Be proud of your hobbies, your beliefs, and your actions. Never doubt yourself and when you figure out who the best version of you is – be them no matter what others want or think.
Make the decision to stay positive. No matter what.
It can be ridiculously hard to see the positive in a negative situation. But doing so will make all the difference. The second your mind goes negative, the universe feels it and continues to throw negativity your way. If you can stay positive and see the good you will be surrounded by good. The universe gives you exactly what you give out.
In the darkest of moments, find your light. Take a breath and remind yourself of all the good you have and focus your energy there. The moment you decide to see the glass half full… It will be half full.
Make the decision to allow change in yourself.
We are all capable and in need of change. If we don’t grow as individuals we will always be stuck in the same pattern of life and that just becomes dull. Of all the decisions you make for yourself, let this be one of the most important. There is nothing more rewarding than allowing yourself to make changes. To cut ties, to quit jobs, to start something completely new and refreshing. We all have dreams we wish we could follow but are always to scared to. Well now is the time to do it. Rip that bandaid off and just allow yourself to try. You can always go back to who you were before but trust me you won’t want to.
Sit down and make a list of everything you wish you could change about yourself and start aiming to make those very changes one day at a time.
Make the decision to let go of the “what ifs,” and enjoy the now.
That guy that broke your heart, that job you wanted but didn’t get, that vacation you were supposed to take – they were all meant to happen as they are what lead you here. Your past creates your present – it is what helps you make those decisions to allow yourself to change. Forget thinking about “what if” I did it all differently. “What if” I said something else, “what if” I kept chasing him. It no longer matters to be honest, because it happened and its done – there is no going back so why keep replying it all in your head.
I am a true believe of not planning for my future. I learnt the hard way that unfortunately those plans very rarely happen the way you wanted them, and when they don’t work out you just end up a lot more heartbroken. Live in the present – enjoy the now. Don’t think about your past because it happened. Your future is always changing so f*ck it. Your present though- thats happening now so make the decision to live it and enjoy every damn second of it because you don’t want to have to regret it tomorrow.
Make the decision to get out of your head.
Our biggest fan, and our worst critics are unfortunately one in the same. We are stuck in our own heads causing the very insecurities, depression, hopelessness and fear that we try so hard to run away from. The minute you can learn to stop obsessing about everyone and everything around you and just focus on yourself you will be free. When you can make the decision to be your best person, to say F*ck it to what does not matter, to stop being a doormat, and to just live – that is when you will be truly free – you will be out of our own head and in the now.
Many of us live in the constant anxiety that we are not enough. We don’t look the way we “should”, we don’t act the way we “should”, we don’t have the jobs that we “should”. Its all such Bullsh*t if you ask me. You need to make the decision right now that you are indeed enough. You wear your crown high and when it does slip, you pick that jewel right back up. Our crowns may slip, but they never fall.
It’s scary, and people don’t always think they’re ready for change. But you are. Make these changes and let yourself be happier with your own damn life.